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AFFAIRS & BREAKUPS

The Anatomy of an Affair: Discover the Real Reason People Cheat
by Dr. Reena Sommer

Should You Stay or Should You Go
by Susie & Otto Collins

How to Get Over a Breakup
by Tigress Luv

How to Stop Your Breakup: A Guide for the Rest of Us
by Tigress Luv

Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I Don't Love You Anymore"
by Nancy Wasson, PhD & Lee Hefner

Save My Marriage Today
by Amy Waterman

How to Get Your Ex Back
by Diva Rebecca

Beat Cheating
by Jim Walthby

From the Site... "My studies suggest that around 85% of people who have been cheated on said that they had a gut feeling about the infidelity before they knew for certain. What does this mean to you? It means that chances are, if you have had a good strong "feeling" or suspicion that your partner is cheating on you at any point in time they could very well be cheating. You have to learn to follow your gut instinct, but it's extremely important you don't go making accusations without evidence or proof to back it up or you risk not knowing the truth forever as they may cover their tracks even better than before..."

Cheating Spouse: 7 Legitimate Motives for Spying
by Robert Huizenga

Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You believe you see signs of a cheating spouse. The need to know whether your spouse is cheating and EXACTLY what kind of cheating is taking place is often strong. There are a number of reasons why the drive to spy is powerful. Here are seven:

1. Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but yourself. Probably for some time you have sensed something is different or questioned the change of behavior in your partner. Perhaps you confronted your cheating husband or cheating wife and it was met with denial. This created a huge dilemma for you because a part of you was screaming, Hey, this doesn't fit! I don't believe it! To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a tremendous internal turmoil. If the truth as you suspect it is confirmed, you can take a deep breath and at least know that you can trust yourself. You are NOT CRAZY! Spying is a way to confirm your suspicions and trust more fully your gut feelings.

2. Spying on cheating husbands or cheating wives often helps the person feel connected to the partner who seems to be steadily moving away. It is a way of maintaining contact and having some sort of connection to this stranger who once was well known. Isn’t it like the game of hide-and-seek we used to play as children? Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it is a game, and a game is at least some contact, some involvement. You miss the connection and try to find someway to maintain the ties.

3. Spying on a cheating spouse may be an honest attempt to bring resolution to the relationship. You want to know the truth. You sense something does not fit. You suspect there is a breach of something. You want to know what you are up against. You are not willing to stand pat and wait. You are a person of action. You want some sort of movement. You want to get on with the relationship. You want to get on with your life. You know that it is difficult maintaining your sanity when there might be this huge elephant that no one is talking about. You want to know the truth, face the truth, deal with the truth and be free.

4. Cheating husbands or cheating wives often, unfortunately, lead to the demise of marital relationships. If you strongly suspect this to be true for your situation you will want to protect yourself legally. If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the relationship. Having “evidence” does have some impact in some court systems. Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of affair facing you and the character of your spouse. Please read through my “7 Reasons For an Affair” to determine the situation that faces you. If your spouse is someone who can’t say no, doesn’t want to say no or is acting out rage, please make sure to take protective steps.

5. You may want to protect yourself medically if you suspect you have a cheating husband or wife. You might be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health may be at stake. And, of course, you need to know. Shame, guilt or self-absorption may be so powerful in your partner that it gets in the way of responsibly informing you of the medical dangers when another partner is sexually brought into your relationship.

6. Seeing signs of a cheating spouse often mean secrets. Secrets are work! There is not much written about the impact of a secret in a relationship, but believe me, in over two decades of working with strained relationships day in and day out, keeping a secret has a powerful impact. It is the proverbial elephant sitting in the room that no one dare talk about. People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it IS there. Emotionally, you can’t miss it. Secrets are a drain. If the secret persists, its impact is felt in subtle but insidious ways. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously so. People become depressed. People start doing crazy things. Children start acting out, stop achieving, become listless or exhibit a host of other symptoms. Children, or the next generation, often carry the emotional load. You want to spy because you don’t want to live with a secret. You want to discover the truth. You want to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive life.

7. Some of us like drama. Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline based lives are a hallmark of our society. We get juiced or pumped up entering into emotional relational triangles that offer intrigue. Without adrenaline, life seems boring or mundane. Perhaps an unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the fire? Or, you may spy on your cheating spouse to keep the sense of being alive a part of your life.

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com

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Break Free from the Affair
by Dr. Robert Huizenga

Article by Author... "Recent statistics suggest that 40% of women (and that number is increasing) and 60% of men at one point indulge in extramarital affairs. Put those numbers together and it is estimated that 80% of the marriages will have one spouse at one point or another involved in marital infidelity..." Read More

From the Site... "Would you like a recipe, a step-by-step guide to help you break through the confusion and fear? Would you like to know the right words to say and when to say them so that they have the maximum impact? … My E-book, coming out of my 23 years of therapy private practice, gives you in-depth, proven and practical steps used effectively by hundreds of couples in the midst of marital infidelity..."

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Divorce Secrets: What Every Woman Should Know
by Cathi Adams

Related Article... "Are you considering divorce? I’m talking about quiet, sober consideration of a question, not the thoughts that flare up from the heated emotions that come right after an argument. Have you thought through the effects of a divorce, and come to the conclusion that you may want to act? If you have, there are things you should do right away. If your spouse has already filed before you, then you must act immediately. If not, you should take certain actions quickly, but not carelessly..." Read More

From the Site... "I'm not happy. I want a divorce." Imagine this all too possible scenario -- you've finished another work day, gone to the market to buy dinner, dropped off your husbands clothes at the dry cleaners, picked the kids up from day care, gone to the drug store to get project paper because your son just told you he needs it for an assignment due tomorrow. Finally you arrive home... You start dinner in between helping the kids with homework and bathing the “little one”..."

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